Simply Complex...

I am a simply complex individual.

I think it's very hard for people to understand that. I think what's more is that it's even harder for people to appreciate that. I'm not even sure that I should expect people to understand that...but I do, because it's who I am, and I want to be appreciated. I want to be loved. It's easy for me to grasp why people may not fully comprehend the idea that I am simply complex. It's a simple idea. But it's complex. I think I am just now coming into a full understanding of what that means to me, who it is I am. But knowing that it is hard for people doesn't lessen the desire to be understood any...

I find myself often in contemplative moods. I don't really want to talk when I'm in these moods, I just want to think, to feel. Explore the innermost crevices of my minds, the furthest reaches of my emotions. I reflect on things past, present, and future. I catch up to myself, as if I was a DVR that someone had paused for a moment, but now wished to sync back with real time. I just take time to be.

I think these moments happen for me in part as a result of my dual personality, my dual tendencies. I am almost two different people. I started off as more of a introvert. I am a very reserved person. I am quiet. I think. I feel. I observe. I am really a loner- I am comfortable by myself, always have been. I like to be alone with my thoughts. But there is my other side. The other part of my personality, the flip-side of my coin, is a very outgoing, extroverted person. I like to be around people. I like to make jokes. Interact. Be loud. I don't care what my birth sign is, I feel that my soul is much more in line with Gemini. I am two people. I am this and that. I am hot and cold. I am everything and I am nothing. I am simply complex.