The Unavoidable Truth

So I realized the other day that I'm getting older. And I'm actually OK with it.

Although the physical age of the students I work with is definitely a contributing factor (some of these kids were born in '91 and 92 even!!), it's not the main reason. Yes, not only am I almost 10 years older than you, and I have extremely clear memories of what was happening in my life in 1991 and 1992. Yes, you speak about Nickelodeon and TGIF tv shows that you only know about because of reruns or YouTube (All That, Are You Afraid of the Dark, and Boy Meets World) and I watched the first episodes ever aired, live. Yes, you believe Soulja Boy and Gucci Mane are hip-hop artists, and anything that Diddy made after he changed his name to Diddy is good music. All these things make me feel old...but they aren't the main reasons.

What really makes me feel like I'm getting older is the mental difference between where some of the students I work with are and where mine is now. I feel worlds apart at times, as if a chasm the size of the Grand Canyon has suddenly erupted between us. Or maybe I've just been trying to straddle that chasm, keeping one foot on the side where you stand and one foot where I am, and the strain of maintaining my balance without falling in has simply gotten to be too much. Whatever it is, I feel as though I am in a completely different place mentally and maturity wise - which is a good thing. I have let the the undergraduate student in me go, completely.

Many of you may be thinking that this is what should happen, how it should be, and that this is a great thing. I agree. Except that now I find it increasingly hard to be as patient as I was before. I find it harder to tolerate immaturity, and struggle to find sense in some of the things these students do at times, wrestle to understand their mentality. I have to make myself remember what it was like to be 20 years old, and how I thought when I was that age. The only problem is...to my knowledge, I didn't think exactly along the same lines about many things, even when I was 20. It's crazy because I could be 100% correct in this thought, but I could also be horribly wrong and simply not have the ability to recall my mentality all those years ago.

Is this what it feels like to get old? To not remember what it was like to be young? I swore as a child I would not be one of those people. I suppose the only way to really ensure that I don't forget these things is to write them down now, so I can look back over the notes of my life when I'm older.

So for now I'll just keep getting older, and try not to hold it against younger people when they try my patience because of immaturity. I'll try. Lol.

Back in Business

I haven't posted in forever. I definitely need to get back on my game. It's the end of a school year, and those who know about academia know that it's the end of most of the excitement. My office is empty - hasn't been that way in...hmmm, ever! It's been a good year, I must say. My first job - success. I'm looking forward to the beginning of next year already. This summer should be interesting, to say the least. What will Wake and Winston be like without all the students? Probably quite boring, lol. But I'll try to enjoy myself, have some fun, get some things done. I definitely will get back on my blogging.

I've been having a lot of conversations of late with graduating seniors. It brings back a lot of memories, to say the least. The main thing I've been telling them is that things change when they leave, but not always in the ways they might expect. As I saw myself when I left school, you will be surprised who you keep in contact with, and what you think about your time spent. Those you thought would be your best friends may fall by the wayside, and people you never considered as close friends may come closer to your heart. It's crazy.

Well...that's it for now. May be an abrupt ending, but that's a blog for you, lol. More to come.

We Plan, God Laughs

It's funny how we as humans are so consumed with making plans. We think about every possibility possible, contemplate scenario after scenario, until we've laid out calculated and detailed plans about what we want to do, and how we want to do it. And we prepare oursevles for these "eventualities."

And then, everything falls apart.

Our carefully laid plans are carelessly dismantled, like someone using a blender to shred a business plan. We realize that we couldn't have been less prepared if we had not made any plans at all. In fact, we probably wouldn't have been less prepared had we planned for the most outrageous, unlikely scenario possible.

Despite this, do we stop planning? No. We continue to do that which, in the end, in most circumstances, proves to be a waste of time. Why? Because it's in our nature. We do not feel secure unless we plan. It is one of our attempts to control our fate, our destiny.

Do I try to plan? Yes. Does it work? Maybe 15% of the time. And that's being generous. Will I stop planning? Probably not.

Such is life.

H-Town Rundown

So some random stuff out here in H-Town...I went to this club last night, Bam Bou. It was Latoya Luckett's birthday, and MIMS was in the building pushing his new album, as well as Estelle and Vince Young. Estelle didn't sing though, I was a little dissapointed, I really wanted to hear her rip it. I went with my homegirl Stephanie. It was a cool time, the club was nice but the architech needed to rethink some of his or her designs.This is the 2nd picture we've taken together on the same website, ironically (I remember taking this one Steph!! hahaha!). Cool times.

Went up to the Galleria mall today too, tried to do some shopping. Didn't really succeed, kinda mad about that. I did however see the funniest book I've ever seen in my life. It's called How to Live With a Huge Penis: Advice, Meditations and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much. I thought it was hilarious. You be the judge thoug, I suppose.
Quick shoutout to my friend Charlotte...she saw this street sign in DC and sent me the pic. Boricua!!

Last Night

It's the last night in New Orleans. I must say I've eaten some good food the whole time I've been here. Fried catfish, shrimp (skrimps), po' boys. Tonight I had some alligator sausage (the bomb!!) and jambalaya, crawfish ettoufette...so good. I love the food down here. Tomorrow morning it's on to H-Town. I'm definitely gonna be eatin' steak all day, lol. Since we're leaving at 6am, I think I'll head to sleep soon. More to come.

Let Us Break Bread Together

Ate at this dope restaurant today - Remoulade - in New Orleans, it's on Bourbon. I hat a combo fried basket - fried catfish, oysters, and shrimp. It was good, except they didn't have any hot sauce (other than Tobasco, which for anyone who eats hot sauce knows isn't hot sauce). Hit the streets after that...saw some strippers (in the street, not in the strip club), some street walkers, some TNA...NOLA is crazy. Whatever. Bout to hit them sheets. Holla in the morning.

PS- Oh yeah, doesn't this bread from the restaurant look like the original communion bread? Hahahahaha!

At the Hornets' Game in New Orleans

We were mad far up in the stands. I felt like I was climbing Mt. Everest. One false step and it was over...Shout out to Wake's Gospel Choir for doing their thing with the National Anthem.

Road Trippin' with Wake's Gospel Choir

I hate riding on buses. I'm too tall and I can never get comfortable. We've been driving now for about 12 or 13 hours, we're maybe 45min from New Orleans, the first destination. I'm so ready to get off this bus, lol. It's ok thought, anything for the students. Tonight they're singing the National Anthem at the Hornet's game, should be a good time. After that, hit the streets of NOLA! More to come...

Live and Let Live

So when I wake up this morning my thoughts gravitate towards the idea of anger and irritation. Not that I am angry or irritated this morning, but I was just thinking about it. I am definitely someone who isn't prone to getting extremely angry - it takes a lot to get me mad. But I do let myself get irritated or bothered by little things quite often. It's actually pretty oppressive, if you think about it. See, if you're anything like I am, when any small thing is wrong with you (i.e. you're sad, angry, frustrated, blah blah), you don't seem to function correctly. That emotion consumes you, to the point where you have to do something about it just so you can get your equilibrium back. that's oppression. The feelings are in control, they are upsetting the natural balance of your life. So my solution? Stop getting so irritated by things that probably don't matter any in the long run! Particularly if it's a small irritation. Unless you are going to (justifiably) get steaming mad about it, just full of rage because the injustice done to you was so magnificent that you simply cannot ignore it....let it go. Brush it off. Laugh. Get over it, or yourself. Or both. But most importantly....let it go. The hardest part (for me) is letting it go, moving beyond the frustration. I tend to hold on to feelings for a long time. I don't want to, I just find it hard to let them go. But I need to work on that, and I suggest you do to. If you can manage it, you can free yourself to enjoy your life. Life is definitely too short to get caught up in ridiculousness. This rings so much truer with people. If you have friends who can sometimes irritate the hell out of you (and I mean small things, not huge, relationship-ender things), just try to remember that you love that person and move past whatever it is. If it helps, think about the fact that you definitely annoy that person too, at some point. That's what friends are for. You thank yourself in the end, when you realize all the lost time you've gained back. So try it. Live...and let live.